madclarinet (madclarinet) wrote,

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I hate it when my head does this too much. It means I have to make decisions, or at least sort some stuff out. I should have already realised this, I've mentioned before that I'm blocking myself - the only way past that is to sort out some of the blocks, or a couple of the big ones.

I'm pretty sure what the answer to some of them are. One block is on the way to be sorted, that plan has been in motion for quite a few months - but the block won't be gone for a long while and I can't do much about that. So, I look at other ones to move - some I have control on, others I don't. The later ones I can't do much about either and at the moment I don't have the energy to sort the big blocks.

So... I'm slowly hitting the small blocks, but thats a slow and boring process - without much obvious gain.

Step by step, part by part. Move from one to the next and hope I don't get hit backwards too much. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I often wish I could go back in time and change a few decisions - a small number of decisions.

I know that when I stop thinking that then I've suceeded and ensure I don't dread having to ensure I don't drop into depression. I hate having to do that, but I fight all the way. I haven't lost that fight yet, but there is always the chance.
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